New Years

2007 is here, 2006 is yesterday. 2006 was probably one of the hardest years i've had to go through in a while, with the passing of grandpa, entering a new atmostphere such as college, battling an inter-conflict day in and day out. It did have some great points though, new friends, I got my new Xbox, etc etc. I just hope this year has alot of greater things in store for me, and my new years resolution is to become a better person.

Quotes

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." -Buddha


"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."-Anon

Christmas.

Today is the big 25th of December, Santa's day, Jesus' birthday, a special time for people to come together. I am pretty happy with the way my Christmas this year has gone, got some of the things ive needed/wanted. Christmas is everyday if you truly think about it. I am thankful for all my friends and family who believe in me, the troops over in Iraq, all the things God has blessed me with. I hope 2007 will be a much better year then 2006 was, alot of hard times and sad moments plagued my year of 2006 but it has also brought me great hope and insperation to carry on. Merry Christmas.

The Real X-mas

Last night I was watching Boy Meets World, and Mr. Feeny said something that has really gotten me to thinking. I dont have the exact quote he said but he basically said that people dont realize the gifts that they are given throught the year. That got me to thinking about all the gifts I have recieved throught the year, such as, the friendship I have with my best friend,Jamie(who has stuck by my side through everything) the fact I have a family (even if I dont like it all the time) that loves me, my education in college, and all the things that I am blessed with each and everyday. I havent been excited about christmas in a long time, not since I was a little kid. I really dont care if anyone gets me anything, it wont bother me if they dont. I feel now that I think about it that christmas is each and everyday because we are given the gift of life.

Christmas.

I am almost finished with school which is wonderful. I had to write a five page paper two weeks ago which turned out to be a total bomb. Hopefully next semester will be great, but what sucks is it always takes me so long to make friends with people. I am very hard to get to know because I do not open up that easily. Anyway, Christmas is almost here, its going to be depressing since grandpa wont be with us to open our presents and share the joy. Things are still hard like always, I cant get over always being sad, I am a negative thinker on everything. So I wont set myself up for a downfall of when something good happens to me. I hope everyone is doing well, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.

Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is in a few days, and since its been so long since ive updated this thing I figured it was time. I have been doin allright these past few weeks, made some mistakes, screwed up like usual, things are beginning to look up. I will start out on this note, I am thankful for the friends I have made this year, who have helped me through all my problems and what not. Without you guys I am nothing, thank you for always bein there for me. Secondly I am thankful for everything I have in life, because I know that everything I have there is someone out there in the world who would love to have it, the house I live in, people who would love them, vision, the ability to walk, the wonderful gift of life itself. However I have not always appreciated life itself like I should, I have battled death in the past and won, I still most times dont appreciate what all I have been given and for that I am sorry. Please pray for me, for the strength I need to help myself to become a better person, and for those of you who have never given up on me, thank you.

Update

It has been a few weeks since the last update, let me get you up to speed on my life. College has been great, I have been getting some pretty impressive grades, meeting and learning about new people that I am around is always fun stuff. I have been happy with the way my life is turning, lets hope it stays that way. Most importantly my relationship with God is growing stronger, I have been reading his word alot more lately and praying for guidance in understand his scripture. The death of Yankees pitcher made me sad the other day, its weird to think about it because I just saw him pitch the other night and then he tragically crashed his plane. It makes you think of how short life is and how it could be over at any second.

Grandpas Birthday

Today would have been my Grandpa's birthday, He would have been in his 70's, if not for the cancer the man would have most likely lived to be a hundred. Not a day goes by where I dont think about him at, I really miss him. The pain is becoming less and less everyday but theres still this ache that I feel not having him around but I know time will take that away. Lately I have been feeling really down for some reason and Im exactly sure why. I feel alone inside, I feel like that I am not wanted or no one cares about me. I cannot explain these feelings,people try to tell me different that I am acually loved but I really dont believe them. I dont have that many friends, I dont talk to that many people and I never go out on weekends. I most of the time just stay at home and watch movies, not really that bad to some people but it gets old when you have no ones company to enjoy. I cannot wait till I will be able to share moments like these watching movies with my wife, I think about it alot more day in and day out, of how wonderful it will be making memories with her, its the small things that I think about. Just being able to share her company and do all sorts of things with her. I cannot wait.

To my future Wife

To my beloved Wife:I am writing this letter to you at 17 years of age because I want to tell you that I am already in love with you. Yes even at 17 years old I was in love with you already, everynight I lay awake looking out my wondering where you are at that exact moment and what your doing. Now hopefully at this exact moment I am reading this with you right by my side. I wrote this letter because back then I already knew how wonderful you was,it hurts me at this time that we cannot be together but I know in my heart that one day our paths will cross and I will find my true happiness in the form of you. You are everything ive ever wanted in a woman, please just promise that you will take care of me and make all those lonely nights worth it. Somehow I know that all those tears cried and those prayers prayed are worth it because right now I am finally here with you.