Grandpas Birthday

Today would have been my Grandpa's birthday, He would have been in his 70's, if not for the cancer the man would have most likely lived to be a hundred. Not a day goes by where I dont think about him at, I really miss him. The pain is becoming less and less everyday but theres still this ache that I feel not having him around but I know time will take that away. Lately I have been feeling really down for some reason and Im exactly sure why. I feel alone inside, I feel like that I am not wanted or no one cares about me. I cannot explain these feelings,people try to tell me different that I am acually loved but I really dont believe them. I dont have that many friends, I dont talk to that many people and I never go out on weekends. I most of the time just stay at home and watch movies, not really that bad to some people but it gets old when you have no ones company to enjoy. I cannot wait till I will be able to share moments like these watching movies with my wife, I think about it alot more day in and day out, of how wonderful it will be making memories with her, its the small things that I think about. Just being able to share her company and do all sorts of things with her. I cannot wait.